Hope and Assurance

This website was created for those acquainted with mental illness and in need of hope and assurance.

Question of the Month

I need someone to help me realize my worth. Most of the time I feel worthless.

Many of us have grown up believing our worth is defined by someone else. We have learned that what we do determines our worth. We feel loved with conditions. What we heard as children was something like this: “If you do what pleases me and makes me happy, then I love you. If you do what disappoints me and angers me, then you will lose my love.” Some mistakenly believe that pointing out mistakes is what will make us want to be better.

This is such a painful place to be. We may find that we do everything to please others and still it isn’t enough or isn’t right. We may feel that we don’t even know who we are because we have spent so many years doing what we think will gain us the favor of others. We end up very unhappy and sometimes angry. As we try harder and harder to please, we feel more and more like a failure.

What pleases one person may not please another, so we are one way with one person and another way with someone else. When someone does not respond in the way we expect them to, we feel disappointed and hurt. Our feelings change moment by moment, like a roller coaster, depending on someone else. We cannot measure our worth based on what someone else does or says. What they say and do may have very little to do with us and a whole lot to do with what they are doing at the time, what is going on in their life, and their stress level.

I encourage you to stop and listen to what that small voice inside of you is telling yourself. You may hear some things that surprise you and even shock you - things that you would never say to a friend because they are so unkind and hurtful.

Practice challenging the negative statements you are telling yourself. Be a loving friend to yourself. Be kind and gentle with yourself, not harsh and critical. Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend. Praise yourself. Cheer yourself on and look for what you are doing right. Love yourself generously.

Our worth is not determined by what we do or don’t do. We are already worthy. It is a given. It doesn’t matter what we do or how many mistakes we make, we are still worthy. Nothing can take our worth away and nothing can add to it.

God knew us before we were born. He thought about us and planned us. He created us unique and with special characteristics and gifts. There is no one else who has our face, our fingerprints, eyes or genetic makeup. He put us on this earth for a special purpose. Our birth was no mistake. Our life is a gift from our Creator that can have meaning and eternal significance. Jesus Christ laid down His life for us and is preparing a special place for us, so wonderful that we cannot conceive of it. Could this all be for someone who has no worth?

Do not believe this deceitful lie of unworthiness one moment longer. Fight it. Challenge it. Defend yourself. Embrace yourself. It is a decision you must make and oh! you will be SO very glad you did.

Contact

Hope and Assurance
P.O. Box 3041
Jonesboro, AR 72403-3041

carolyn@hopeandassurance.com