God loves you as a good father loves his child. You can climb on His lap and tell Him everything. He sees your tears in the night and wants to help. Ask Him for what you need.

Anything that God has ever done, He can do now. Anything that God has done anywhere else, He can do here. Anything that God has done for anyone else, He can do for me.
– Author Unknown

Past Questions of the Month:

Hope and Assurance

This website was created for those acquainted with mental illness and in need of hope and assurance.

Question of the Month

How can I help my sister who is always blaming someone else for her problems?

I understand the concern you have for your sister because growth and change can only begin with honesty. We cannot see ourselves or our problems clearly unless we first are willing to confess our faults.

Your sister may need to know that it is ok to mess up and that mistakes are gifts to us to learn from. You can help her with this by modeling how you handle mistakes in your own life. Seize opportunities to share with her ways you have failed to measure up and how admitting your role in the problem brought resolution and benefits to you and those you love. Explain to her how you believe your choice of honesty directly affected the outcome for good. Lead her in seeing how her choices can bring positive benefits to herself and those she loves.

Confront her dishonesty with the truth. Remember to speak with utmost kindness and gentleness while remaining firm in voicing the facts.

Do not rescue your sister from the natural consequences of not accepting responsibility. When we are busy trying to fix things for others, we can get in God’s way and may keep our loved one from learning from her mistakes and finding the motivation to change. Remember when the prodigal son came to his senses: when he was in the pigpen eating the same food the pigs ate.

Let her know by your actions and words that you love her no matter what. Whether she chooses to stop blaming or not, your love for her remains the same. That knowledge will help her to soften and be more willing to listen to what you have to say.

It is always your sister’s choice whether to change or continue doing things like she has always done. Understanding this demonstrates respect and love for your sister in a profound way. You want any change to come from within her. If she tries to change to please you or for some other outward reason, it probably will not last.

Stay close to God and in His Word. You will require His wisdom, guidance, and abiding Spirit to minister to your sister and yourself. Bathe her in prayer day and night and give her to the Lord. He wants to help her even more than you. He is just waiting for her to ask.

Contact

Hope and Assurance
P.O. Box 3041
Jonesboro, AR 72403-3041

carolyn@hopeandassurance.com