Hope and Assurance

"I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and He heard me. He set me free from all my fears."
– Psalm 34:6

Hope and Assurance

This website was created for those acquainted with mental illness and in need of hope and assurance.

Question of the Month

If you have a question that you would like addressed, or have comments or suggestions, please let me hear from you. Contact: carolyn@hopeandassurance.com

My nephew has definite issues with his Mom which spills over into his marriage. He won’t do anything about his problems except use them for an excuse. I don’t get what’s keeping him from getting help?

Whenever I am struggling in a close relationship, my constant companion is fear. Fear holds us back and prevents us from growing. It can paralyze us as long as we allow it to be our master. Fear will speak lies and half truths and remind us of what can go wrong and of our inadequacies.

My biggest fear is rejection by those I care about. I suspect your nephew is no different since this problem involves his mother. Rather than risk feeling rejected again, we may do nothing even though we are quite miserable. In an already damaged relationship, the fear of someone’s cruel words, harsh criticism or unwillingness to listen and understand may promise to hurt much more than our present problems. Just the thought of that happening can quickly replay past hurts. To feel all of that again can be too much to bear. We may rather stay where we are. That is why many of us must hit bottom before the pain of staying where we are becomes so great that we finally choose to do something different.

Another common fear is people will think we are crazy or weak if we go to therapy. We should be able to figure this out on our own and do this without anyone’s help.

When our vehicle gets stuck in mud or snow, we get help to get out. We do not continue sitting in the car, spinning the tires day after day and refusing everyone’s help. If we insisted staying in the vehicle until the snow melted or the mud dried up, thinking we should do it on our own, something would be very wrong with our thinking; and we still may not be able to free ourselves from the deep ruts our behavior created.

Your nephew is like this vehicle. He is stuck and needs help to get going in a new direction that can benefit himself and his family.

We all need help at different times. None of us know everything or have the time or desire to do everything. We are human and depend on each other to help meet our needs.

Crazy people do not understand they have problems. They are out of touch with what is real and do not know it or even care.

Speak truth with gentle loving kindness to your nephew as God presents the opportunities. Truth drives out fear when it is motivated by love. Love wants the best for others just as we want it for ourselves. Do not forget that God is Love. Point your nephew to God as the Great Physician and All-Knowing Counselor for God knows him best and loves him most.